Right before the rug was pulled out from beneath us!

Tuesday, January 22, 2013


         I can honestly say I have heard the term deja vu, but never truly experienced until today.  Twice in the last 36 days, Jake has gone to the emergency room having food stuck in his esophagus. The first time it was a piece of steak, but this last time it was rice. We followed up with our primary care physician, as directed.  Today we went to the appointment, arrived a little early, dealt with a creepy guy in the waiting room, then we were called back to see the doctor.  Everything was great until the point when the assistant opened the door and we walked into THE ROOM...  DEJA VU.... I've been HERE before..... the very room we were in March 3rd, 2011 when the doctor told us the diagnosis. Instantly, I felt the anxiety. I was thinking about how that day was much like today, joking around so innocently, waiting for the doctor, thinking the concerns that brought us there were minimal. So Seriously.... DEJA VU... Not only the same place, but ALSO waiting to see what is wrong with my kid.   Truth be told, many many thoughts ran through my head.... thoughts of ....
...asking for another exam room, really is this some kind of sick joke!
...just running right the heck out of there, screaming like a lunatic to make a more dramatic exit.
...kicking myself because why oh why did I not put on my big girl panties today! 
...what the heck are they going to come in and tell me is wrong with my kid now! 
You can say it....I'm insane in the membrane"  I know. Just RIDICULOUS! 

 Jake got off the exam table came and sat down next to me... and as simple as that I pulled it back together.
   Right now we are still waiting, our doctor has a few ideas of what it could be ( maybe scar tissue from being intubated or maybe something entirely different pushing against his esophagus)  , he wants to consult with a couple doctors to see the best route to go.  He explained that Jake will be seeing a gastroenterologist and probably having an endoscopy done.  However that is not set in stone yet.
   It amazes me as many times as we have been to see the doctor we have avoided that room until  today.  Funny how places can bring back such memories.