Too Much of a Good Thing

Education... It's my life, after all I am a teacher.  Many nights I stay up late, researching everything I can so I know what we are up against.... It's my way of fighting the fear. What's the old saying?  Knowledge is power... I wish I could function differently, and believe ignorance is bliss, I'm sure I would of gotten a much better nights sleep if I had.  I have read many, many pages about what a Myectomy is.  I know it's a procedure that will last three to four hours. I understand that they will open Jake's chest and shave off a portion of his heart wall to open more space.  I guess I didn't really think it through because what I DID NOT realize until last night is that to do the surgery, they will have to put Jake on cardiopulmonary bypass...   Umm , Yeah.. I teach Kindergarten...I'm not a doctor.. but I watch one on T.V... what little I know about this I learned from watching Grey's Anatomy... So, a bundle of nerves, I read on to have my fears confirmed... A machine will temporarily take over the function of Jake's heart and lungs during the surgery keeping his blood and oxygen circulating throughout his body.  The thought of my little boy's heart not beating, seriously, made me break out in a cold sweat.  I have faith in God and the doctors, but that's my son's heart. It's scary.  This morning, as I drag my tired booty to work, I wonder if Knowledge really is power... or in this case is it too much of a good thing...

We have a busy week, Today we have an appointment with the Psychiatrist, tomorrow the dentist to get all his dental needs taken care of before the surgery, and Wednesday we have an appointment with the councilor.  His mental health is just as important as his physical health, and this is a lot to deal with.